In at the Deep End
by HeartBeatFailure-x
Summary: Alec knows it's hard to get the guy to delve deeper into the particularly painful or well-locked caverns of his memories. So Alec doesn't mind so much when Magnus can't come to his swimming competitions. But he'd really like for him to make it to the championships.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: For whatever reason, Magnus is still a warlock whilst Alec is doing mundane things like swimming competitions. I hadn't realised how ridiculous it seemed until I was almost finished, so I apologise for the randomness. Enjoy! (and no, I don't own anything other than the plot)**

Normally, Alec was perfectly willing to excuse Magnus's absence at his swimming events, competitions, nationals or even just as someone to keep him company whilst he trained. He put it down to Magnus being too much like a cat and not liking water, which didn't make it _okay, _but it made it slightly more … excusable, perhaps. It was better than thinking of the alternative, which Alec already _knew, _but it still wasn't a nice thought to think of whenever he dipped into the water. That Magnus hates the water because of the incident with his father; but Magnus had reassured him countless times that it _isn't that, darling, _and Alec had accepted that all that was left of the murder attempt on Magnus' young self, was simply a small uneasiness around water. At least, that's what Magnus says, and Alec knows it's hard to get the guy to delve deeper into the particularly painful or well-locked caverns of his memories. So Alec doesn't mind so much when Magnus can't come to his swimming competitions at local events, or help him and encourage him alongside the pool when he's training for something bigger.

But this time, Alec wants Magnus to make an exception. It's the championships and he's made it to the finals. People think he can win, and he wants to think he can, but he'd really like Magnus alongside the others, on the stands, watching encouragingly as Alec reaches for first place. It's all planned out in filmic-fashion in his head, and he doesn't see why Magnus can't make an exception for this one, just this _once. _Alec thinks he might be pushing things a bit, maybe he's being too demanding, but then again, Magnus _has _already had about 700 years to get over his fear. And Alec feels incredibly guilty whenever he thinks this.

But on the other hand, maybe its more on side with psychological scarring, not just a general phobia…

Alec didn't _know. _He was frustrated with himself and Magnus at any rate and Magnus was insisting he was A-ok. That he didn't have a phobia any more and it was just a sort of uneasiness he got around water – but he was _ok. _Alec wished Magnus would stop pretending he's ok because if he was, he would have come to the small events around town, or the small and bigger competitions he'd been placed in. Alec needs to know what he can do to help, if anything, and Magnus just wont talk to him about it.

So in preparation for Magnus's reaction, whatever that would be, Alec told his boyfriend about the swimming championships a whole three months before the actual date. As soon as Alec knew, a week or so later, Magnus knew too. Alec left it a week so that he could come up with a decent presentation, playing the right cards to win Magnus' vote. Which is where Alec's at now, nervously standing in the kitchen, drying the dinner plates while Magnus is watching him, curiously, as he casually begins his spiel on what the 'best ever present for all the occasions of the year' would be. Alec barely pauses for a breath, spilling all the cons first, then covering them up with the pro's and hoping Magnus will forget about the cons – which is ridiculous because Magnus hardly forgets anything – before resorting to pleading and bargaining. Which ends up leaning towards bribery, so Alec stops before he gets in too deep.

Magnus is still watching him, elbow propped elegantly on the marble kitchen surface, his navy-blue-glittered-fingernails dangerously close to his cat-like eyes. His face is slightly paler than its usual tanned shade, but Alec tries to convince himself it's the lighting.

"So…um, think about it" He finishes lamely, placing the last dinner plate in the cupboard and flipping the tea-towel onto the radiator to dry.

"Your ass shimmies in an unbelievably sexy way when you dry plates" Magnus gives Alec a flirty grin and it isn't reflected. Instead, Alec tries not to look like he's storming off, but really, he thinks he is. Magnus hadn't listened to a word he'd said. And if he _had, _he was brushing the topic away like it didn't matter. But it _did _matter. Alec wanted Magnus to watch his championships and possibly win first, second or third. Couple's were supposed to be supportive and Alec had been supportive of all Magnus' outrageous ideas, and even more so of Magnus' unwillingness to go near water, but just this one, _just this once, _he thought Magnus might make an exception.

000

Magnus notices Alec's annoyance instantly. He's an open book when it comes to emotions, and sometimes Magnus finds it too easy to make his boyfriend turn from one emotion to the other within a heartbeat. And it's always fun; going from anger to utter embarrassment, or from happy to horny. But that isn't why he dodges the boy's ultimate question. The real reason is that he is caught off guard. Magnus is sure that he hasn't succeeded in fooling Alec into thinking that the fear of deep water has been obliterated. He knows Alec will come up with some intellectual reason, like maybe the fear has gone but there is still some kind of psychological link. But that would be getting ahead a little bit, because that would mean the fear has lessened. And it hasn't. But he's spent so long convincing himself and Alec that it has, that he almost believes it.

He takes showers as a preference to baths; it's a personal choice, not one inflicted by a desperate need to stay away from deep water. So that doesn't bother him. Nobody goes swimming as vigorously as Alec does, and those that do, well, Magnus doesn't really care for. The odd times they do make a social call to the pool, Magnus can always come up with some arrangement at work that conveniently gets him out of it – it works very well. But it's Alec. And Alec needs him to do this, if only once. So Magnus spends the next two weeks thinking about it. Very carefully and at every bit of free time he can get; so far, there's no panic attacks or feelings of suffocation and no reoccurring nightmares. Magnus assumes he's ok and brings up the topic when Alec returns from one of his major swimming sessions on the Saturday night.

"…How big is it?" He asks carefully.

"Is what?" Alec chuckles and sets his bags down by the stairs. "A snake? Your…uhm…" A bashful blush and Magnus finds himself chuckling.

"The pool. That you'll be…_swimming_…in" Alec is silent for a moment, blinking carefully.

"The one at the championship arena; it's…Olympic sized" Magnus' eyes widen very slightly.

"I see" He breathes. "Depth?"

"Two metres" Alec says, biting his lip. "Minimum"

"Minimum?" Alec swears Magnus squeaks. "And how far are you…going?"

"Two hundred metres" Alec says cautiously. "There and back. Twice"

"And you'll be underwater?" Alec gives his boyfriend his 'are you stupid' face, but regrets it the moment Magnus recoils. "Nevermind, of course you will, you're swimming" He says flippantly, spinning around and heading to the kitchen.

"…" Alec wants to ask if that means Magnus has reached a decision; if he's going to come. But he doesn't want to push him over the edge, so he follows his boyfriend into the kitchen like a puppy. Alec reaches the sink and decides he wants a coffee. "Coffee?" He starts one up anyway, because he wants one, glancing at the sink bowl that's got leftover water in it. He sends a glare to Magnus, who doesn't seem to notice.

"Hm?" He says instead.

"Coffee?" Alec repeats, hooking his fingers over the edge of the sink tub and preparing to empty the water into the sink. He regrets it the moment that the water gushes out loudly and Magnus' chair scrapes back. He drops the tub back into the sink, water sloshing around whilst he spins to face a tense-looking Magnus. He'd never minded before… "Babe?" Alec whispers.

"Im going for a walk" He was gone in a whirl of black and glitter, so Alec rinsed the bowl in silence, drank his coffee with Chairman on his knee, all the while waiting for Magnus to come back.

000

It's another two weeks before it's brought up again, by neither parties voluntarily. Jace is enthusiastic about Alec's chances of winning, or at least getting placed, and has been helping to coach Alec along throughout the process. A month has passed since Alec has told Magnus about the Championship event and Jace wants to know what the verdict is. He is all too happy that all the Lighwoods will be there, Clary and Simon too of course, and Alec is rather offended that Jace instantly thinks that Magnus will obviously, without question, be attending too. Alec's silence proves enough of an answer, which eventually sends Jace driving Alec from the pool, half way through their training session, back to Magnus' apartment to scold the glitter-clad man. Alec cringes throughout the whole argument; Jace hasn't allowed Alec to explain Magnus' circumstances, or Magnus to explain his _own _circumstances, but Magnus _does _stand there in the corridor and takes it all like he usually does, waiting for the storm to blow over before making a surprise attack. But there isn't one.

Jace calls Magnus an unfair, unsupportive, totally disregarding and selfish twat, and Magnus says nothing to defend himself. Not even when Jace hauls Alec back to the pool for an intense stress-relieving session which he eventually joins in with. It's because of that outburst that, when Alec comes home, he comes baring gifts of glitter hairspray, Belgian chocolate and some high-branded cat-food for Chairman, because everyone knows that if Chairman is happy, Magnus can't be too far behind.

Magnus creeps up on Alec as he's dishing out the cat-food, appearing silently in the doorway looking as graceful and elegant as the cat that is lounged on the sofa.

"Alec?" Comes the quiet, inquisitive voice.

"Magnus!" Alec leaps up, surprised. Chairman doesn't seem too happy at having food flecked in his face, but comes to munch on the food nonetheless. "You snuck up on me" Alec smiles, rinses the can lightly (with Magnus watching like a hawk), and puts it in the recycling bin.

"I want you to try something with me…" Alec only smiles because of the 'suggestive' nature of the comment. Usually, 'trying something' means new…games… "I'm not being funny with you" Magnus folds his arms over his chest, and Alec realizes suddenly that Magnus is wearing a very grave face, one that almost has a sort of resignation to it. _This could be it! _ "Are you done here?" Alec nods and Magnus holds out his hand, which Alec takes, and they head into the bathroom. It's in there that Alec smells the soft aroma of one or many of Magnus' scented candles and what faintly smells of bubble bath. But that would be ridiculous because— "Get in" Magnus instructs, locking the door behind them both and nodding to the steaming bath that is lightly topped with bubbles.

Alec undresses and gets into the bath, his embarrassment of changing in front of his boyfriend long since vanished. It still makes his ears burn when Magnus watches him as intently as he does, but still. It is a vast improvement. Alec sits himself down and swirls his palm lightly over the bubbles.

"It's perfect" He says, turning to Magnus. "The temperature I mean; well, I think the candles and the bubbles help" Magnus smiles just a little and unfolds his arms, that seemed to be keeping him wrapped up and safe from harm. He peels off his boots, then his socks, then takes off his over shirt. But stops there. Alec stops watching him undress, for fear of making him too nervous, and starts playing with the bubbles absently. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Magnus take his top off, then shimmy his trousers off and then his boxers. Butt-naked, he runs his fingers along the edge of the bath before gripping it, his knuckles white. "Want some help?" Alec whispers. He hopes Magnus knows he isn't forcing him; he just wants to help. Maybe distract him whilst he gets in so he doesn't notice it.

The other hand grips the side of the bath, slipping down as he tests the temperature. His hand shoots out before it's just past his wrist. For the first time, Alec see's a completely uncertain look in Magnus' eyes. _Sort of like Max's first time at the pool. _Alec stands up slowly, extending a hand to the nervously blinking man that's his boyfriend. "It's fine" Magnus takes Alec's hand, lifts a leg to place it in – but flails at the last minute. He shakes his hand free of Alec's grip and shakes his head back and forth just as wildly. "What can I do?" Alec says helplessly, desperately wanting to do _something_.

"Nothing" Magnus breathes, whipping up his clothes with a frown and unlocking the bathroom door. Within seconds, and a whisp of cool air, Alec is alone in the bathroom, wishing Magnus was sat opposite him. It's then he realizes that Magnus is admitting he's lied all this time about being OK with the water. By openly asking for Alec's 'help', and flipping out like he had, Magnus has abolished all 'Im ok's when concerning water' tales. Alec doesn't know whether to be happy, or mad. He settles for worried. He suddenly fears that it must be affecting Magnus so much deeper than he originally thought if he'd had to lie about it for the past few centuries.

000

It's suddenly a new week and Alec's training has become more frequent. He misses Magnus and finds himself imagining the glittery man sat in the stands when he's training, cheering him on. But of course, it's only in his mind, but it does encourage him to swim harder. He reaches a new personal best this week too, and he's sure it's because of Imaginary-Magnus. He comes home slightly earlier because of this; He sneaks into the apartment with the aim of surprising his hard-working boyfriend, but ends up nervously waiting in the corridor as he hears the conversation unravel with the feeling of intrusion in his stomach.

"…It's ridiculous Camille, it's – it's _pathetic_" Alec doesn't think he's ever heard Magnus say something so hate-filled. "I don't understand"

"It's only natural" Camille's voice sends shivers down his spine. Alec's always been wary of the connection between Camille and Magnus and he's only ever really tolerated her.

"It's not. It's _not! _I've had centuries to get over this, Camille" He says something else that Alec can't catch, but Alec imagines Magnus rolling his eyes and folding his arm over his chest. "All I have to do is sit there and be supportive. Watch him bob in and out, there and back, there and back and then bam!" Magnus hits something and Chairman suddenly darts out of the living room and into the corridor. Alec tries to shoo him away. "He'll win" Magnus says confidently. "Maybe I could just wear a blind fold and get ear plugs or something"

"Yes Magnus, you'll look _fabulous _wearing those" Alec bit back a laugh. "You want to get over this, for Alec's sake?"

"More than Gucci's new line" Magnus says solemnly. Alec shakes his head but grins to himself.

"Then get yourself in the bathtub with him. Start there. Get used to the water again and then maybe go with Alec to a few training sessions before the actual thing" Alec hears shuffling and decides Camille is leaving. He leaves Chairman Meow in the corridor and tip-toes back outside, closing the door quietly and just about jogging further down the road when Magnus lets Camille out. Alec doesn't miss the small peck on the cheek, but if her advice genuinely helps Magnus, he's willing to overlook it. He gives it five minutes before heading back into the house and having a Project Runway marathon and snuggles with Magnus for the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Sunday when Alec gets a suspicious-sounding 'come hither' call from Magnus. They're both in the apartment and Alec's in the bedroom putting away some clothes when Magnus calls out Alec's name very carefully.

"Yeah?!" Alec calls back, pushing the wardrobe shut and trying to find the source of the voice. "Where are you?" He chuckles, looking around the corridor and the living room.

"Alec!" Comes the impatient, and slightly worried voice. "Heel!" _Bathroom. _Alec chuckles to himself and opens the bathroom door. Magnus is sat in the bath with some neon green, three-quarter shorts on, the bathwater slowly rising around him. His hands are glued to the sides.

"What-"

"Get in! It's rising!" Alec forgets to strip himself of his clothes and steps into the bath, slightly irked that the water is cold but tells himself its for Magnus' sake. It's not supposed to be a warm bath; Magnus can find those pleasures when he's conquered his fear. "Im in the bath" Magnus breathes, eyes wide with almost-panic.

"Yes you are, love" Alec grins at him and slips closer. The water shifts around them and Magnus' eyes dart to watch it. "I'm impressed"

"Don't be" Magnus mumbles. "Not…yet" Alec watches Magnus' face as the water rises slowly. It's cold, almost freezing, but he supposes Magnus would feel it less for some reason. It's almost covering their legs and Magnus's breathing starts to hitch a little. "Cold?" Alec raises an eyebrow.

"What? Oh…yeah, sorry. I didn't think I'd…" He trailed off but it was ok.

"Im glad you got this far; it's a brilliant improvement" Alec slides carefully closer to Magnus and plops his legs over Magnus' own and around the bare back. Magnus seems slightly calmer as Alec catches his gaze. "Don't get any ideas"

"The waters cold; how could I?" Magnus retorts, placing his hands carefully around Alec's waist.

"You only have yourself to blame" Alec grins, trying to distract Magnus from the rising water, but it seems that his eyes can barely tear themselves away. "Hey" Alec pecks his boyfriends cheek. That sparks a reaction. Alec makes his eyes go cross-eyed and Magnus smiles in amusement. "I had a thought" Alec begins. "You like these, right?" Alec bats his eyelashes quickly and Magnus nods, still glancing at the water which is just over their hips. He fidgets. "Well, don't they just look like big pools to you?"

"They're your eyes and they're beautiful" Magnus raises his head a little to look at Alec, but it falls back to the rising water around them.

"So you don't look at them and see water?" Magnus doesn't reply. He's too busy watching the water-line go up, and up, and up. Alec's sure it hasn't even reached what would be Magnus' belly-button line – but he's already bolted out the bath and reaching for a towel. Alec slowly follows, wrapping his own towel around himself and Magnus before kissing his lips.

"I think that deserves a treat tonight" Alec grins.

"Shopping?" Magnus asks, hopeful.

"I was thinking along the lines of something that I would enjoy too…" Alec quirks an eyebrow and Magnus nods.

"Right. Baking" Magnus heads into the bedroom to change. Alec frowns; for all the flirting and little hints that Magnus seems to do so effortlessly, you'd think he'd pick something up!

"Think a bit more on the active side" He rolls his eyes.

"Stroll in the park?" Magnus tosses a T-shirt on and yanks on some jeans.

"Sex, Magnus!"

"I'm dressed now!" Magnus rolls his eyes.

"I'll take em' off then" Alec says, surprising even himself. Magnus raises both his eyebrows but seems delighted.

"Now _that _would be a treat"

000

It's six weeks until the championships and all of the Lightwoods, and Clary and Simon, have all found out that Magnus still hasn't confirmed his place or ordered his ticket. Alec blames Jace, but holds no hate for him. He thinks it might be advantageous; Magnus could have his own little support team and it'd all be ok. But Alec realizes, from a surprise visit from Jace, that he will be getting no such thing.

Alec has been with Jace for most of the morning at training. Alec then spends the afternoon shopping with Magnus but ends up being whisked away by Izzy, who promises to have him home on time. With hindsight, Magnus is glad that Izzy _doesn't _have him home on time, for Jace turns up on the doorstep at half five, just as Magnus is going to make dinner, and marches into the apartment. At first, Magnus thinks the blonde-haired poster-boy is looking for Alec, but by the time Magnus follows him up to the living room – the argument has already begun. Jace is furious, that much is clear.

He's annoyed that Magnus isn't taking an interest in something that Alec clearly loves, and he thought that maybe his last confrontation would kick Magnus into gear, but obviously it hasn't. So he's going to try again, he says. He doesn't know what Magnus' problem is, really. Magnus was the one who almost drowned so maybe he could understand it if _Magnus _was the one in the pool. But he's going to be nowhere _near _the pool, so it's just pathetic that he isn't making an effort.

Magnus wonders if Jace is scared of anything. He knows the blonde boy has some insecurities about belonging, but it's hardly something to throw back in his face. He knows Alec is terrified of spiders, but that wouldn't help anything either. Something was mentioned about ducks, but Magnus finds it so ridiculous he's sure it's just a joke.

Jace continues his argument, getting no response from Magnus. How can he not care? It'd mean everything to Alec if Magnus went, and it's a stupidly simple thing like going, sitting, watching, congratulating, and leaving! There's nothing wrong with any of those, and Magnus isn't stupid, Jace knows, he can do each one of those individually, so why not together? It's infuriating and Jace is getting sick of it. He wants Alec to be happy and seeing him saddened, each time Jace brings up how excited the others are, that Magnus won't be excited because he won't be there.

Magnus wants to point out that maybe Jace didn't have to mention it so often, then. He wants to point out that he is _extremely _excited for Alec to swim and win his race; he just isn't too excited about watching him do it. That it's too complicated for Jace's small-minded brain to understand. But Jace wouldn't care or bother listening to his excuses or reasoning, so Magnus doesn't say anything. Jace takes the hint, a weight obviously off his chest, and he leaves. Fifteen minutes later, Izzy brings Alec home. Magnus has left a note telling him he's sorry dinner isn't cooked, but he has somewhere to be and that he loves him. Alec thinks nothing of it, orders Chinese and then goes to bed, all the while expecting Magnus to come home any second.

Tuesday, Magnus bumps into Jace and Clary as he's shopping for more food. Clary off-handedly mentions how proud Magnus must be that Alec has got so far in the competitions but Jace butts in, reminding her that Magnus won't be there to see it.

Magnus wonders if there's anything else to talk about. Clary continues, asking all the same questions Jace had done, only in a more sincere and 'awwh poor you – cant you try?' tone, which irked Magnus even more because he _had _been trying for the past seven damn centuries. Clary continues using her sweet voice, reminding Magnus that Alec has tried really hard and it'd be great to have everyone there. Jace saves Magnus from the rest, harshly reminding Clary that Magnus already _knew _all this because he – Jace – had said the same thing. They parted ways.

On Wednesday, Magnus is too annoyed to do anything. Alec is training with Jace and Chairman is unfortunately M.I.A in one of his adventures, so he's alone. Alone in a spacious apartment, left to think about Jace's accusations and Clary's degrading voice. He isn't safe in the apartment, he thinks, nor is he safe anywhere else, really, so he goes for a drive somewhere and ends up at Central Park. Nobody will think of coming here, he hopes. He enjoys the walk around the gardens, the sunshine on his face and the breeze through his hair. For a moment, he doesn't think about Alec and the swimming championships and he's happy.

"Magnus!" A familiar voice calls his name and he's surprised when a pair of long, lithe arms are wrapped around him.

"Isabelle" Magnus greets as she pulls herself away from him. Magnus notes that Simon's there too, looking confident and Simon-ish whilst holding Izzy's hand. "How are you both?"

"We're well!" Izzy grins. "And you?"

"I'm fine, thank you" If he says anything other then he'll get the same 'awwh poor you' tone that Clary had used and he _hated _it.

"That's good" Izzy smiles. "What brings you to the park? No Alec?"

"Alec's training" Magnus admits. "I could do with a change of scenery" Izzy nods understandingly. "Date?" He asks, indicating to the two. Izzy nods confidently whilst Simon looks sort of awkward beside her. "Cute"

"I bet you're feeling abandoned" Izzy chuckles. "Alec training all the time, I mean"

"I have Chairman Meow, you forget" He points out and Simon cringes.

"Damn cat" He mumbles. Magnus smiles. "Still not bought your ticket for the championships, then?" Simon asks lightly, genuinely curious Magnus thinks.

"If I say yes, will it prevent world war three?" Izzy frowns at Magnus' response. "Don't give me that look, dear, it's not as easy as you'd think"

"You're eight hundred years old" Izzy exasperates. "How has it taken this long? Have you just avoided it altogether?" She raises her eyebrows and Simon begins trying to calm her down. "Or are you just saying that so you don't have to go – because I'm sure Alec would like the truth" She takes a breath. "It's not a big deal! I could understand it if you were actually required to get in the pool but you aren't"

"Izzy, leave him be" Simon pulls her to the side a little and Izzy stops, but she's wearing a face like a child having a tantrum. Magnus thanks Simon, bids them farewell and continues on his walk. It's not even half an hour before he gets a call from Mayrse, wanting to know if he wants a reserved seat.

Magnus reminds her that he isn't sure if he can make it just yet and she begins her own spiel for ten minutes before calling him totally unsupportive and accusing him of disregarding Alec's feelings and hanging up. Magnus feels it's all rather familiar. He leaves his car where it is and walks along Brooklyn Bridge and back again, all the way to his car and drives home. Max is there with Alec and they're talking about him.

"But it's different to my fear with spiders" Alec says quietly. "Magnus is really scared of it"

"But he's not scared of anything" Max says stubbornly. "He should go. Love conquers everything and if he loves you then he should come and watch you win"

"It's not that simple" Alec reasons. Magnus has finally had it. If it was anybody but small Max in there he would have gone in and given them a mouthful. But it is Max and he won't scare the boy, so Magnus heads to his bedroom, strips and tries to go to sleep. Alec comes in after taking Max home, snuggles up to Magnus and kisses the back of his head repeatedly. Magnus is too annoyed, frustrated and guilty to turn around and face him.

It continues like that for most of Saturday, until Alec has had enough and demands to know what's wrong with the Warlock. Magnus vents everything, between Alec's meddling family and the damn swimming competition taking over _everything _that he just can't think! The argument escalates and Magnus storms out, calling Alec's want for Magnus to be at the championships nothing short of a dream. He can't go, and if he did have any thoughts of going, his family and friends hadn't helped him at _all. _

Alec packs some things and goes to stay with his family in the Institute for the weekend, refusing to go back to the apartment. It's only when Chairman turns up on the doorstep looking so very hungry that he thinks Magnus hasn't at all been home either.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec calls Magnus' land line repeatedly. It's been three days since their fight, three days he'd had to keep Chairman Meow away from Church and three days without Magnus. Alec isn't taking it very well – simply because he's not sure what happened. He'd understood that Magnus was beyond furious and that their argument is probably one of their first major ones – but it has been three days. And Magnus hasn't even tried to call.

Alec, on the other hand, had been calling Magnus' mobile every waking hour, the landline every other, leaving voice mails here and there. He thought maybe Magnus had abandoned his phone, but after a quick stop-by the apartment, ringing the mobile whilst there - he'd easily concluded the phone was nowhere in sight and that Magnus must have taken it with him. He argues with Jace, for constantly being at Magnus' throat. He snaps at Izzy for her input at the park and he refuses to talk to his mother after he learns of her phone call to Magnus too.

Miserable and empty, he locks himself in his room and refuses to go training with Jace that day. If he had it his way, he wouldn't have gone training until Magnus was back, safe, and he knew it. But there is now only five weeks left till the championships and he can't waste any time. The next day, he gives in. He obeys Jace's training advice but anything else that comes out of his mouth is ignored. By the end of the week, Alec debates calling the police, but how the hell can they find a can-be-anywhere-at-any-time warlock? He knows it'd be futile, but he's hopeless. He begins to think that the argument was their 'end'.

Maybe Magnus had left him for good, maybe that's what this is and Alec just isn't seeing it. Only now he's got the thought on his mind – he's not ready to break up with Magnus. Not over something like this – he'll tell Magnus that he doesn't have to come, not if it means losing him. But of course, Magnus still isn't answering his mobile, or his landline, and Chairman is just as depressed as Alec is slowly becoming. He calls Camille as a last resort, asking if she's heard from him, She hasn't but she'll keep an eye out, though.

000

Four weeks until the championships and Jace has managed to pry Alec from his den of a bed, training with him in his usual routine now. Three times a week, unlike the past week and a bit where Jace had allowed Alec only two training sessions because he was 'no good damaged'. And partially because the dismal thought that Alec may drown himself in his hopelessness had occurred to him more than once – but Jace decides easily that enough is enough and nothing can fix a broken heart better than old routine. He's wrong, he knows, but it gets Alec in the car and to the pool, eventually _in _the pool and talking to him. That evening, Alec tries Magnus' landline again and gets nothing. His heart is too exhausted to register anything but he tries Magnus' mobile anyway. The connection doesn't go through at all this time, signaling either a dead battery, a dead phone, or a dead relationship. Alec tosses his phone out of sight and scares Chairman from his place on the desk.

"Do you know where he went?" Chairman crawls up to Alec, stretches onto his knees and snuggles there against his chest. Alec thinks that it's Chairman for _'no, but I'm here instead'. _He doesn't know if it helps.

Three weeks to go now and Alec has almost managed to get back to his normal routine, but he hasn't beaten his new personal best yet – a goal Jace had set. Magnus has been gone for two whole weeks and a few days with no contact and Alec is hiding his misery very well now. He can almost pretend he is the same person he was before Magnus came along. But when he goes to bed alone, after almost a year and a bit of company, he's reminded that he's missing something. Chairman lays next to him now, and as much as Alec appreciates the gesture, he wishes the cat was Magnus instead.

On Sunday, there's post. Which is odd, because there is no post on Sunday – everybody who'd read Harry Potter knew that. Max finds it first, running into the kitchen with the champagne colored envelope waving in his hands. He explains that it just got posted, so someone must have dropped it off but he couldn't see who. As if to still catch them, Izzy glances out the window but of course she's too late. The attention is back on the envelope.

It's for Alec. Max hands it over, his eyes wide and curious. Alec can't recognize the hand writing because it isn't handwritten. For some reason, he expected it to be so. But it's an envelope with a printed address on a labeled sticker. Addressed to him. Jace is standing silent but supportive at his side and Izzy is looking at him encouragingly. His family had been his support for the past two weeks – as much as he'd raged at them for their lack of faith in Magnus. He holds his breath as his fingers open the letter. He can't imagine what it'd be, so he pulls away the envelope and unfurls the letter with curiosity, something slipping from it's place and onto the floor. Chairman and Church instantly race for it – but Izzy shuts Church in the living room quicker than lightening and Jace can't catch Chairman (he hasn't got used to Chairman yet) so the cat sits on the paper and keeps it as his. Max pries the cat away and then takes the paper, but in the meantime Alec had read over the paper and had gone white as a sheet. Izzy takes the paper and reads it out loud.

It's a ticket confirmation, just one, but placed next to the reserved ones where the Lightwoods, Clary and Simon would be sat – near the front. It was under Alec's name – but everybody in the house had already bought their ticket. Who else would address just a single ticket, to Alec of all people, but - Alec doesn't dare get his hopes up. He's sure he'll be mad at Magnus either way – firstly for running off and vanishing for weeks without an explanation, and secondly for…well, getting his hopes up. Max hands Alec the fallen ticket like it holds the weight of the world. Alec looks at the name printed, murmurs "He thinks it's a joke?" before rushing out of the door. Max is left to explain that the only name printed on the ticket was '_Chairman Meow'. _

000

Jace chases after Alec as soon as the words leave Max's lips. He hurls himself into the car and follows Alec down the pavement until Alec finishes his tantrum against a few walls and bins and eventually gets in. Jace drives him to Magnus apartment, listening to Alec's shaky breaths and watching his equally unsteady hands. Jace wonders what'll be left of Alec if Magnus really does vanish, but can't think on it any longer because Alec is out of the car before it's fully stopped.

The key is pushed into the lock of the apartment door and Jace follows up the stairs, quickly retrieving the abandoned key, taking them two at a time. For whatever reason, they both expect Magnus to be there. As if the ticket was a sign that he's back. But the apartment hasn't been moved, shifted, or redecorated in any way. Magnus has never kept it the same for longer than a week – he hasn't been home. Alec doesn't know what to do. Jace doesn't, either, when Alec begins hurling Magnus' things around the room, furious. So he lets the other have his anger out, because it's something he would do and it usually works. He later regrets it, when Alec is buzzing in the car, regretting demolishing the objects he'd held and smashed, almost to the point of going back and gluing it all together again. Jace should've known that Alec wasn't the destructive type.

When they reach the institute, Izzy carefully informs Alec and Jace that Chairman has left. Alec hates the bubble of hope, because if Chairman has left after all this time, then Magnus surely must be back, but _where?_ He wants to go back to the apartment again, but he's too weary. He deflects all questions and buries himself in his bed covers until dawn, trying to convince himself that he isn't tearing himself apart by the seams.

When he wakes up the next morning, his chest heavy from loss and his eyes glazed with dead, he doesn't move. Why should he care? He manages to make Jace leave him alone, no he doesn't want breakfast, and the door is locked anyway. Eventually, he can't stand the groggy feeling the slept-in bed covers give him – so he shifts out of them and spies his open window, Chairman sat on it as if he'd never left.

"Traitor" Alec murmurs. The cat jumps from the window and leaps onto Alecs bed, just as Jace's hands grip the window sill from outside. Alec sits up. "Jace…." He warns, watching the others lithe movements as his elbows lever up his body, which tumbles into the room as gracefully as Jace can manage.

"Look" He starts, breathless. "I get you're all wound up and it's frustrating, yes" Jace sighs, dusting off his clothes. "But really…get your ass out of bed and _do _something. Keep busy" Alec supposes Jace has a point, and seeing the other had made him a little more awake now.

So an hour later they're at the pool, training, making small jokes here and there. Jace keeps Alec's mood light and his attention focused on the competition ahead, but it doesn't stop even him from wondering where the hell the Warlock had vanished to. It wasn't like him to disappear for this long, and he was beginning to regret his attitude. Their time-slot in the pool draws to a close and Jace lets Alec stop early, pleased at his progress. Alec nods his thanks and shifts off to the showers with his towel, not looking back, but Jace wishes he would – because he's just spied Magnus stood at the very back of the seats, the perfect place to see the pool without the pool (or, say, Alec) seeing him. Jace makes it clear he's seen him, but Magnus is gone seconds before Jace can place a foot forward.

It seems Magnus is purposefully avoiding Alec. Which Jace understands as Magnus purposefully_ hurting_ Alec. It only takes seconds for his fury to build up; he goes to tell Alec that they're making a detour on the way home.

000

Alec is surprised when Jace pulls the car up in front of their apartment – no, Magnus' apartment. Alec supposes he doesn't live there any more, he had been living with his family for the past three weeks.

"What are you doing?" He asks as Jace shuts off the engine roughly and gets out of the car. Alec quickly follows his stalking to the front door, where he demands Alec open it. With a sudden surge of panic, Alec realizes he doesn't have the key. He _always _has the key, but now it's gone. Jace see's the lost look on his face and decides to abort his plan. But just as he turns to pull Alec from the buildings steps, the door opens. Alec swears he stops breathing. Jace stares at the blank space, as if there should have been someone there. There _should _have been. Chairman charges down the steps and quickly nudges their ankles inside, Jace does all he can not to trip over the thing.

Inside, they quickly notice that the place has been redecorated. The walls are covered in old fashioned tapestry-looking things that are mystical to Alec and pure-ugly to Jace. The floor is old-wood, oak – he thinks, but it smells just as Magnus' place always has done. Of Magnus. Chairman leads them to the main room – which would have been the living room. But the TV has gone and a library is there instead. Many many books, with an abundance of shelves and a circle of cushions, blankets and lights and candles in the middle. A fire hazard, Alec thinks.

The cat trots around them as they marvel at the sheer number of books and objects in the room – the reverberating hum signaling Chairman's happiness shocking both their feet. Jace turns first, folding his arms across his chest with an arrogant scoff that means he's disbelieving. Alec is slower to turn, he doesn't _want _to hope, but nothing makes Chairman purr that loud other than Magnus. So he does, he turns, and when he see's the warlock he does all he can do to hold himself together.

"Well I'm leaving before I stain the floorboards with blood" Jace heads back for the main door, lingering after Alec's response. Will he come? Or stay? "Alec?" Jace ventures, after getting no signal from the other as to what he'd do.

"I think…I'll…I'm staying" Alec decides, starting to move back to where the chair had been – the one he'd normally fall into. But of course, it isn't there and Magnus seems unsure. Jace leaves regardless, but sits outside in the car until he's sure Alec won't come running out and need a lift home. Jace knows he'll wait for as long as it takes, so he puts the radio on quietly and tries to think of something else.


	4. Chapter 4

Alec doesn't know what to say or do. Magnus is there as if he'd never left, leaning lithely against the wall with his back slightly arched, as he balances Chairman on his arms, against his chest. His eyes are calculating, but there's nothing different about him. Alec realizes he expected something different. Something to show why Magnus has been away for so long – but there's nothing.

"I suppose I should have written" Magnus says softly, as if he really hadn't considered it.

"Or…phoned, or emailed – or texted" Alec finds his voice. "You didn't have to do anything, really, I think I phoned enough for the both of us. All you had to do was pick up" He's shocked at the harshness, but it has to be said. Magnus lets his head fall in a nod, a quiet 'hm' leaving his lips. "That's it?" Alec finds himself uttering.

"If you were expecting a big showdown, then you're going to be disappointed" Magnus lets Chairman reach up to his shoulders. "I've had enough of those to know they never end well, and nothing get's resolved" Alec could feel three weeks worth of misery building up into something worse. Hate.

"You _disappeared" _Alec breathes. "For weeks!" Magnus remains silent. "You left me without a trace of an explanation – you all but _forgot _about Chairman" Alec pauses, seeing how glad Chairman obviously was to be reunited with his owner. "Or maybe you forgot about me, too"

"Never" Magnus tilts his head, not in contemplation but so that his eyes are dead-on with Alec's. There isn't a trace of a lie.

"I thought you'd left for good" Alec goes cold, his arms feeling like dead weight as he crosses them over his chest. "You left the way you did – didn't try to -…just …" He realizes he isn't making sense and stops to rethink. "Are we still…ok?"

"Far from it, apparently" Magnus says easily. "But there's time for that" He tries a smile but Alec is far too exhausted to return it. He isn't sure he wants to.

"Where did you go?" He asks, quietly.

"Abroad" Magnus begins petting Chairman's head.

"Did you think about-" Alec halts, realizing how much of a _girl _he was about to sound like.

"Every day" Magnus whispers. "But let's just say that I was on a crash-course to recovery, and I had to abstain from you" Alec turns his head away, unable to hide the smile that begins to work at his lips. "It was hard to not think about you when you called every hour" Magnus sounds sad and Alec turns back to face him. "I wanted to pick up"

"You should've. I could've moved on and gone off with someone else for all you knew" Alec shoots the idea before he's really thought it through. Because really, he could never move on from Magnus so fast.

"Never" Magnus breathes.

"I could have been dead"

"I'd know it" He replies, seriously.

"Then,…" Magnus quirks an eyebrow patiently. "I needed you here. You weren't _here" _Magnus looks uncertain and almost, dare Alec think, nervous. "Three weeks may be like a few hours to you – living for eternity-" Magnus holds out a hand warningly, Chairman readjusting himself along Magnus' remaining arm.

"We're not doing that again, Alec" He says, leaning his back from the wall and straightening up as his hand falls back in place across his chest. "Don't drag that up in this. I left because I had to – and I'd like it to be a surprise when you find out why. So please, do me the courtesy of _not _throwing my immortality back in my face" Alec stops breathing for a second.

"If you'd just left a note," Alec whispers. "Saying you'd be gone, that you'd be back"

"It would have made no difference" Magnus seems sure. "You'd bury yourself under blankets and pretend Chairman is me and imagine me sleeping next to you, even so" Alec can't stop the shock appearing on his face. "Chairman tells me everything, love" Magnus smiles and for a moment, Alec can pretend that everything is ok.

"The ticket…in Chairman's name…" He remembers, wishing he wouldn't so he could keep pretending. Magnus shrugs idly.

"As I said, I'd like it to be a surprise" Alec is baffled.

"I'm not going to be any more surprised than _pissed off _if the cat shows up instead of you – regardless of whether or not he-" Alec does the quotation marks, childishly. "-tells you everything'" He lets his fingers fall as Chairman leaps from Magnus' arms and curls around Alec's legs in favor. Alec drops his gaze to the cat and realizes he's almost missed Magnus' face to Alec's first mention of anything pool-related. In the 'showing up' part, he's assuming Magnus will be involved, somehow.

Alec realizes he's treading on thin ice and stops talking. Magnus drops his arms to his side, his head leaning back just a little for Alec to see the superiority. Clearly, Magnus knew what he was going to do, and he was going to keep it that way. "You're impossible" Alec rushes, flailing his hands and trying to step over the ever-ankle-circling cat to get the stairs.

"Alec?" Magnus steps forwards, uncertain again. As if his very movement could send Alec flying out the door. "Promise you'll wait" He says, not as a question, but as a statement. Maybe an order, Alec thinks, but he's willing to agree with whatever it is. So he nods. He isn't entirely sure what he's waiting for, but he thinks it's to do with Magnus and questions being answered and problems being solved. So he agrees and debates going back to at least hug the warlock, but when he looks back to do so (after a small internal debate), Magnus has disappeared and Chairman is waiting to see him out. Clearly, that was that.

000

Two months to go and Alec has finally beaten his personal best. It results in an early finish at the pool – once Jace had made him do it again, at least three times – and an evening out at the park. Alec finds that it's nice, not doing much of anything, but he's still not seen much from Magnus other than half an hour, here and there. He'd been busy catching up on all the jobs he'd missed on his _'spontaneous holiday' _and that's the story he was sticking to. It makes sense, so Alec believes him when he says he has to go, someone's waiting. They haven't talked any more about Magnus' disappearing act and the warlock won't mention it. It's all Alec can do to be happy that he's back and smiling again.

He debates texting Magnus, asking if he's free to come and meet The Gang at the park – but he doesn't want to sound too eager. Seconds later, he spies the warlock strolling over to them, his long black Victorian-style coat accompanied by a cane. He sits next to Alec with ease and engages himself instantly in conversations with Izzy. Alec finds himself smiling, wondering if Magnus knew he was wanted, and how Magnus knew where they were.

It is a week after their normal routine has settled with the topic of Magnus' disappearance still being avoided, that Alec moves back into the apartment. It's also during that time that he finds out that Magnus has been disappearing through portals during all of Alec's practice hours at the pool. He doesn't mean to look, but when Magnus' diary falls open on the floor, a big purple circle with the words 'THERE' written inside, he can't help but wonder. The times are too close, and the only thing Alec can conclude is that Magnus has been going 'THERE' –wherever that is- whenever Alec has been at practice. Curious, he mulls it over for a while, but he doesn't dare ask Magnus about it. He knows he's still treading on thin ice.

Normal activities ensue after another week. Alec can freely snuggle up to Magnus in bed without worrying if the Warlock thinks he's being bribed. Magnus can give Alec random gifts and surprises without preparing himself for a verbal-battle. Alec has resumed control of the television, to which Magnus can put up a good fight for – whereas previously, he'd let Alec have it out of guilt. Magnus isn't stupid, he knows he's upset Alec by leaving and not explaining, but he also knows that Alec will be happy at the end of this.

Chairman Meow's ticket is safely hidden with his own in the draw of Alec's dresser for fear of another argument breaking out and the ticket being burnt in blue flame. Perhaps it would have been safer at the Lightwoods house. Alec wonders if Magnus knows where it is. But if Magnus had wondered, Alec doesn't know for what reason Magnus would go looking in his dresser, so he supposes it's safe. When Magnus is out, Alec likes to check that the ticket is real, that he really does have it and that Chairman Meow's name is on it. He supposes the cat is half-way to Magnus accepting his ticket in time, so he keeps it hidden in his drawer and safe from Magnus' knowledge.

000

When the 'One Month to Go!' day finally pops up on the calendar, marked in red pen with a circle and a smiley face, Alec feels both excited and nervous. Everyone has been encouraging and he's beaten his best three times. Jace is confident he'll win but Alec doesn't like the pressure, so he frequently tells him to shut up. Nobody mentions or asks about Magnus' ticket. They can all see that Alec is happy enough to have him back, and that will do.

"Here" They're in the apartment, a rare night in watching one of the better movies on the TV. Magnus has brought over two hot chocolates with cream and marshmallows, so Alec takes it gratefully and blows across the top.

"Thanks" He murmurs quietly, smiling as he sips the top. "Mmm…sweet" Alec tries not to jump when Magnus suddenly nibbles at his ear, his breath hot and close. The hot chocolate is scalding his hands through the cup and he needs to put it down, but Magnus is – _oh…. _The cup suddenly resists his fingers and floats to the nearby table. Alec bites his own lip indecisively. Magnus leaves kisses down his neck and over his collarbone, waiting for Alec to make a move. Bedroom, or sofa? Floor? Wall? It had been a while since they last got this heated, but there was no mistaking the warm tingles that had overpowered Alec's body.

"Tick tock" Magnus breathes, close to Alec's ear as he nuzzles their heads together lightly. "Tick tock" Alec knows he won't make it to the bedroom without losing the feeling in his feet. Magnus would render him numb. He knows the floor will be hard – and it's wood now – so he doesn't fancy that. The wall was too far away – too far… "Tick…tock…" Alec surrenders easily, turning the television off in a sweep of his hand over the remote before tossing it away. He turns and wraps himself around and over Magnus' body, hovering closely. Alec briefly wonders why Magnus had bothered with the hot chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5

It's The Day. Magnus is up early with Alec, watching his blue eyes dart nervously around the apartment.

"You'll be fine. Just do what you do" Magnus says reassuringly, but Alec doesn't want to say that Magnus doesn't _know. _It's a strange and uncomfortably dizzy feeling, being nervous. And Alec has to ask…

"Have you ever been this nervous?" He can't imagine the warlock being nervous at all. Or even shy. Alec supposes he'd get over-confident.

"Hm" Magnus gives a light nod thoughtfully. "When I first brought Chairman home" Alec can't hide his reaction and Magnus instantly begins to justify his words. "It had been a while since I'd had to care for something. Something that may _die _if I didn't do things properly" He huffs, folding his arms over his chest and watching the furball walk along the tiles in the kitchen to his food bowl. "I didn't know how to handle a _cat" _He says quietly. "And I was frightfully nervous when you walked through my front door for the first time"

"Really?" Alec asks, frowning. He didn't _seem _nervous.

"Hm. I was _so _nervous, I started planning ways to lock you in rooms and keep you tied up in case you started to run before I could introduce myself properly" Alec gapes. It was so _'Magnus' _that he couldn't think of anything else to say. "And as for meeting your parents" Magnus pulls a face and Alec leaves it alone. Maybe the warlock _did _get nervous. Of course, Alec tries to remind himself that Magnus is also nervous around water. But that would be a lie, but the word slips from his lips too quickly for him to recover them.

"Water" Magnus' eyes flit to him. He doesn't think it's a warning, but Alec is wary nonetheless.

"Water doesn't make me nervous, Alec" Magnus sighs and glances at the taps by the sink, to Chairman's water bowl and to their cups on the table. "Taps, I associate with filling the kettle, filling Chairmans bowl, getting clean…._being _clean" Alec nods lightly. "Chairmans water bowl; without it he'd dehydrate and die. _That _makes me nervous. But not the bowl" Alec nods again to show he's listening. "The fountains in the parks, they're fine" He lists off. "I don't get nervous around them – they're…reminiscent" He gives Alec a look that promises a story, so Alec makes a mental note to ask about it later. "They don't make me nervous, Alec" He says again. "Deep water, in one place, makes me feel something else entirely. _Nerves _have nothing to do with it"

"Okay" Alec breathes, taking Magnus' hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "Sorry" Magnus flits his hand aside in a gesture Alec knows to mean '_I care not' _… but he still feels a little bad. So he leans over and kisses his boyfriend, trying not to fall from his awkward position over the dining table. Magnus seems happier, the only thing breaking them off is the doorbell.

"That would be Jace" Alec murmurs, shuffling away from the table and racing down the steps to greet Jace.

"Ready to go?" Alec nods and quickly goes to fetch his bag. He double checks his ticket is in the side, and wonders if Magnus notices that he's pinned Chairman's to the fridge.

"Good luck – not that you'll need it" Magnus strokes back half of Alec's hair and smiles that knowing smile. Alec doesn't want to ask. Doesn't want to know if Magnus has seen or if he'll be coming to watch. So he nods, smiles and leaves with Jace, focusing on nothing else but the pool and the chance of first place.

000

Magnus walks up to the man by the doors, ticket in hand as he holds his breath. He can smell the chlorine, which makes it a little better. It doesn't smell like river water. But he can hear the echoing voices that almost sound like they're already submerged in water instead of him. He wishes Chairman would stop wriggling, he _knows _he doesn't like the bagpack, but it wont do any good for Magnus is people think he's treating his cat horribly. He'd given enough of a gap for air holes, along with a ball of wool in an attempt to keep him occupied, but he doesn't think it's working. The people shift forwards as their tickets are accepted, and it's Magnus' turn to present his. He holds two tickets out and tries to keep the mans eye from wandering to his bagpack. The ticket man looks around, wondering where the second person was. Magnus clicks his fingers and the man stamps both of them, handing them back. Magnus tucks them in his pocket and heaves a sigh. The voices are loud and echoing, the crowds are gathering and he doesn't know where he's going.

"Reserved seats are to the left, follow the front across and your seats will be signed. You're seats fifteen and…sixteen?" The man is confused because there is only one person in front of him. "Whichever you fancy, then?" Magnus nods his thanks, grateful, and begins the walk to the front of the many, many racks of the tiered seats. He holds his breath because he's worried if he breathes, he'll breathe too quickly and start panicking. He wants to at least get sat down, to say he was _sat there _and _watching _the pool. He thinks it'll make Alec just a bit more lenient if he did run. So he's aiming for the chairs, to sit and see for all of ten seconds, which is enough time to decide whether or not he can stay.

He approaches the reserved seats and focuses on the numbers, eventually finding a pair of familiar shoes. He raises his head and finds Isabelle, sat by the Lightwoods and Simon and Clary. Jace isn't there, but he's probably giving the confidence speech to Alec. The brief thought that _he _should be giving the confidence speech crosses his mind, but he's already at his seat. Nobody says anything to him and he wonders if Alec has instructed it, but he says hello nonetheless and receives smiles rather than words. He shifts the 'Reserved: 15' and 'Reserved: 16' signs, sitting on one and placing his bag on the other. He unzips the bag all the way and pushes the mouth of it open; Chairman's head pops out and he pets it.

"You need to stay in there, ok?" Chairman purrs in response and shifts himself into a comfortable position, with his head on Magnus' lap. The movement automatically comforts Magnus and he finds himself strangely calm.

Isabelle has switched with whoever was sat next to him – offering him her hand. He takes it and she thinks she's comforting him – but really, he's enjoying the colour of her nail varnish. It has oil-like qualities in the way it shimmers a rainbow in different lights. She realizes and huffs, crossing her legs over eachother and folding her arms over her chest. But she's smiling, so he supposes she's not annoyed.

The swimmers took their posts as the speakerphone announced who is where. When Alec's name is mentioned, everybody to Magnus' right cheers – including his mother and now Jace, who seems to have made an appearance.

But Magnus' voice chokes in his throat and he tries not to feel sick; He sees Alec swinging his arms backwards and forwards, stretching, the pool about a foot away from his …_thing. _Is it a board? A platform? That sounds good. Platform. And although Magnus likes the way Alec's body looks right there, he can't stop his eyes from wandering to the pool and it's shimmering surface. _Stop it. _He thinks, drawing his eyes back to Alec and his body. Magnus briefly glances around, quickly assessing that there is an equal amount of girls and boys watching the competition and they will have all, at somepoint, seen his boyfriend half-naked.

The thought makes him slightly jealous, but more importantly distracted for a few more seconds before the loud noise sends the swimmers into the pool. Alec doesn't miss a beat. Magnus watches his body glide in, breaking the surface of the water before disappearing. He holds his breath until Alec emerges, but as soon as he does, he's under again.

Magnus watches him avidly, only breathing when Alec's head is out of the water –but it's hard because he's moving so fast he can barely catch him. Magnus blows out a breath and replaces it, his eyes never leaving Alec's lane. He's at the front. He's staying at the front. But Magnus won't let the others know that he's praying for Alec to go faster, to _win, _simply to get out of the water as quickly as possible. No, that is unfair. Magnus _does _want Alec to win and revel in the feeling, but the sooner he's out of the water, the sooner Magnus be rid of the water that feels like it's creeping through his lungs.

_Hurry up. _He urges, watching as Alec reaches the other end of the pool with wide eyes. Has he done it? Has he won? Can he get out now? Magnus watches with horror as Alec disappears, _flips _underwater and vaults back the way he came.

"_Two hundred metres" _Alec had said. How far was that? Magnus turned to Izzy, who was shouting her encouragements. Alec was still in the lead. _"There and back". _Magnus clung onto it, watching Alec maintain his position, head barely breaking the surface as he takes his rhythmic breaths. Magnus feels dizzy. _Finish. _He's vaguely aware of Chairman, out of his bag, now sat on Magnus' lap as if to keep him there. Magnus all but clutches him to his chest, the cat scratching at his arms and legs in protest. Alec is closer to the end now, his hand reaching – but he dives under again and flips.

"He's going back" Magnus breathes, eyes wide. He didn't see Isabelle turn to him worriedly, but he heard her say softly;

"Two hundred metres is there and back – twice" She paused. "He'll go to the end, and then go back" Magnus releases Chairman from his hold and places the cat on Izzy's lap. She seems momentarily stunned, but doesn't mind when Magnus folds himself securely on the chair, his legs crossed beneath him so he can't run away, his hands firmly pressed on his knees with a firm line of sight straight on Alec.

He licks his lips in anticipation but his chest clenches with warning. _Too long, too long. _He's not breathing. He chokes out what's left in his lungs and recovers with a cough, sucking in another breath and hoping nobody saw. His fingers work over themselves, his nails prodding the tips of his fingers or running down the sides of his nails and scratching at his knuckles. When he realizes he's doing it, he digs in fingers into his knees. Alec reaches the end, flips and goes back. It's his last stretch. The person in lane three is catching up, a last minute spur.

"Move" Magnus whispers, now flicking his fingernails off the tips of his thumbs chronologically and back again. He doesn't see a problem with it until Izzy puts her hand on his right one, jumping when the blue sparks give her a shock. He pulls his hands free and balls them into fists. She leaves him be and continues cheering Alec to the finish point, along with all of his family.


	6. Chapter 6

Magnus can't find it in him to yell encouragement or shout praises. His eyes keep darting from Alec, to the finish line, to Alec, to the finish line. _Move, move, move. _Is he breathing? Magnus strains forwards, the crowd roaring in his ears. He's almost at the end – almost done. Magnus chews his lip, finding the edges of his hair and fiddling strands over his fingers. Alec's close, so _so _close, his muscles straining, his head turning.

Then the stands erupt. People cheer with excitement and so much more – Izzy is on her feet, Chairman barely leaping from her lap in time. He lands in Magnus' lap instead, settling his head down, alert at the echoing noises.

"Did he win?" Magnus whispers, watching as the swimmers pull themselves from the water. It must have been close. He can't find Alec amongst them. _Where is he? _Magnus wobbles his legs back to the floor, peering around the annoyingly stood people to find his boyfriend. Surrendering, he shuffled to a stand, Chairman clutched to his chest for dear life. The cats head turns and he mews softly; he's found Alec. Magnus sees as he enters the podium from the side. He congratulates one person and then another before standing in the middle looking nervous.

"Did he win?" Magnus repeats. "Has he won?" Izzy turns to him with a grin and he doesn't need to ask any more. He turns back to the podium and watches Alec accept the certificate and the trophy, the crowd still cheering. His stomach does somersaults and his hands feel clammy. Jace is down there with him, the others leaving to congratulate Alec's success. But Magnus finds his hands are shaking, and the people are rushing from the stands and moving so loudly he can't hear anything but their echoes. They sound so distorted they're almost like they're underwater.

Some people jump in the pool, more people follow their example, but the sounds do nothing to comfort him. Magnus tries to block it out, so make his feet move over to Alec to congratulate him but it's all too _much. _He did it. He watched Alec win. But he can't stay and watch this, the people in the pool joke around and try to push eachother under, tugging them down by their ankles and seeing who could hold their breaths for the longest.

Before he knows it, he is outside, gulping in the evening air that tastes like chlorine. Chairman is at his feet, the bag pack in his mouth like a dog carrying a bone. Magnus crouches down and tries to cough away the feeling of choking, Chairman sitting quietly at his side. It seems like an eternity that he spends trying to regulate hisbreathing, to make sure he can breath through his nose and mouth, to convince himself that his lungs have air. And when he looks up to straighten his back, to attempt to move, he sees Alec, crouching down in front of him. He has trousers on but no shirt, and his hair is dripping water droplets down his body.

"You came" Alec can't help but smile, and Magnus can see it like the moon. He tries to mirror it.

"I'm reduced to a shaking mess of a human shell, but yes. I came" Alec hugs him, holding him close.

"Izzy told me you did brilliantly when I was racing" He murmurs. "Must've been the end; it did get loud, didn't it?" Alec looks down and sees Chairman, waiting patiently to be acknowledged, so Alec scratches the patch between his ears and he purrs. "Thank you, too" The cat dips his head in acceptance and sits on the bag he was brought in. Alec smiles at that. "You put him in a bag?"

"Last time I took him to an event, they took him _off _me. I wasn't risking it" Magnus shakes his head and runs a hand through Alec's sodden hair. "Can you breathe?" He whispers, so quietly Alec isn't sure he heard it.

"Hm?" Magnus shakes his head, alert, and Alec knows it'ssomething he didn't mean to say. So he kisses his warlock and brushes his face. "I saw you, you know" Magnus peers up. "Before I started, when I came out. I saw the seat was empty, it sort of stood out, being the only reserved seat that _wasn't _filled. Then I realized Chairman was sitting on it" He laughs quietly. "Then I wondered…but you were sat there"

"Indeed I was" Magnus sighs shakily and Alec notices, the worry is etched onto his face. "Now, do you have some sort of after party to attend?" Alec nods slowly.

"But if you don't want to go back in there…"

"You may go" Magnus shuffles to a stand, Alec rising with him. "Enjoy your…_win" _Alec smiles dubiously – he doesn't want to leave Magnus alone like this. He's certain he's going to head for a breakdown. "I have a few things to attend to – and then you can have your reward"

"There you are" Alec smiles, happy that the usual Magnus with his '_few things to attend to' _is still alive and sane. "Wait…Reward?" Alec seems surprised and it makes Magnus grin. "You _came _to watch me. At a _pool. _After six months of getting you to _try. _That, is reward enough for me"

"That was beautiful, dear, really" The old Magnus is back, it seems. Alec doesn't mind. "But really, after six months of persistence, you really do need some sort of reward" Magnus plucks Chairman from the floor and holds the empty bag in the other hand. "So you go and enjoy your after-party with your family, and then come and join your after-party-after-party with me when you're done. I'll be at the apartment" He kisses Alec far too quickly for Alec's liking, so he holds the Warlock close until he does it again. "In public?" Magnus enquires, grinning. "Later, love" Alec gets a proper kiss this time, and allows Magnus to leave.

000

When Alec gets into the apartment, stomach full of free food and his hair smelling a little less like chlorine, he doesn't expect a portal. He is expecting a bed, some wine, and _fun. _A portal sets him on edge. But that's what he's seeing instead of the usual corridor wall.

"Where are we going?" He calls out, but Magnus doesn't answer. He finds Chairman hovering by the portal, tail flicking from side to side. There's a glitter trail that leads to the portal – Alec's just realized. "He's through there?" Chairman Meow turned and jumped through the portal in reply. There was a time when Alec wasn't sure, when he made Magnus go through first just in case. Then as he grew used to them, he had to hold Magnus' hand to be sure that he wouldn't strand him somewhere. Now, he is confident so he follows the glitter trail after Chairman Meow.

The structuring of the room is marble and granite with the air of a spa. Alec moves further into the room and shifts off his shoes with his toes, nudging them to the edge of the huge bed. His socked feet feel unsure and slippy underneath him, so he peels them off too and stuffs them in his shoes. When he turns around, the portal is gone and the glitter trail comes from a blank wall. His eyes follow it, but it leads to the bed he's stood in front of and Magnus isn't on it.

He hides his disappointment, but he thinks he's taking too long and looking at the wrong thing because Chairman meows at him to hurry up. He wonders how he knows that, but he supposes he's got used to the cat's impatient whining. But Alec does a 360 and –

"Is that a _pool_?" He starts towards the large glass wall that makes up a quarter of the four walls. Chairman Meow follows closely at his ankles, weaving impatiently in and out of his feet when he comes to a halt. The large double glass doors in front of him lead to an outdoor pool, half sheltered by a stone coving. It has warm lights glowing around and inside it, a bar set up at the side. Alec wants to move his head to assess the other treats in the room, but his eyes can't move from the pool. Perhaps he's had enough of pools, though. Chairman rudely nips at his ankles.

"Fine" The cat turns and Alec follows, looking at _everything. _In the corner of the room there's a large glass box – which Alec quickly registers as a shower. It has candles surrounding it, lights in the shower head that Alec suspects will be multi-coloured. Alec gapes but Chairman nudges him along like a dog. "Sheesh, so impatient!" He nudges the cat back with his bare foot, but the cat simply skips a few steps and stalks onward.

He leads him around a tinted-glass wall of block-tiles, an array of neon colours. The light reflects of it like a stain glass window, making pretty patterns on the opposite wall. Around it is a large circle of a room, lit with fire-torches on the walls and a circular Jacuzzi in the centre.

Magnus leans out over the side, arms folded, chin resting on them lightly. When Alec comes in, he can't help but smile.

"You're-…_you're in" _Alec gapes, tempted to find something to toss at his boyfriend to make sure it isn't an illusion. Magnus shifts his arms and leans out of the Jacuzzi, resting his elbow on the side as he beckons Alec over with a simple flick of his finger. Alec's taken his T-shirt off before he really knows why, but his trousers fall to the floor just as quickly and he's standing in naught but his boxers just inches away from a semi-naked Magnus. _Oh…_Make that a completely naked Magnus.

"Tell me that again, in a little while" Magnus brings himself up to meet Alec's lips, but doesn't quite reach just yet. His back arches as he leans closer and Alec's head tips for the view with a smile. Magnus grins knowingly. Alec closes his eyes, caught "Now you best get in" He gives Alec a teasing peck on the cheek, slipping back down and submerging himself in the water right up to his shoulders. Alec vaults over the side and all but splashes into the centre, his hands reaching for Magnus and they slip into a comfortable tangle of limbs.

"Are you ok?" Alec asks quietly, wondering if at any moment Magnus would jump up and leave him.

"I think I'm doing rather well, don't you?" Alec nods in agreement. "I _know _you've probably had enough of all things water" Magnus trails his finger over Alec's collar bone, over to his shoulder and he shivers in response. "But I want you to know that this is for me just as much as it is for you. _This" _Magnus swirls his hand from Alec's arm to the water, warm and still. "I won't run from it" Alec can practically feel Magnus' body thrumming with determination and calm at the same time. He doesn't think it's possible to do both, but Magnus is looking calm, his body feeling grounded. "I will stay here, with you, for as long as you need me to prove that I _can" _Alec finds himself kissing Magnus all over. From his lips, his temple, his head, hair – ears, chin, cheek—Magnus groans and pulls him closer. "That, I hope, will be enough of a reward for you"

"It's so much more" Alec breathes, unable to look at anything but Magnus' eyes, _hopeful. _He finds himself smiling again.

"We have as long as you like" Magnus murmurs, smiling. "Till we're all wrinkly, if you fancy it" Alec's face grows strangely mischievous.

"Hm" He mumbles. "Well that leaves enough time to try everything a few times…" Magnus nods in agreement as Alec continues. "The shower looked brilliant. The pool outside – if it's a clear night – I've always wanted to" Alec bites his lip. "And the bed… that looked pretty cosy, too"

"You like?" Magnus grins, reaching for something on the outside of the Jacuzzi. Alec nods, and Alec can't keep his face serious when the Jacuzzi bubbles to life. Excited, he lets himself laugh, waiting for Magnus' reaction. The warlock simply gets comfortable on the side and shows his utter confidence. And Alec couldn't have been more proud.


End file.
